Balthazar on Election Night

"The rails were off."

Good morning everyone. I spent most of yesterday in a photo studio in One World Trade Center, and then my hair was glossed by the hands of Julie at Jenna Perry. It was nice to be around other people.

You guys really had a ball in the comment section yesterday. I am more curious about my country than ever. Today’s letter includes a scene report from Balthazar on election night (including celebrity sightings and an update on Keith’s moves), a new celebrity VC firm, and a Shelter Island mystery.

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EXPENSE ACCOUNT: Balthazar on Election Night

Expense Account is a series we’re trying out on Feed Me, written by semi-anonymous restaurant critic JLee. In this report, you’ll be reading about Business Guy Restaurants — the bistros, sushi spots and lounges that are best rationalized with the involvement of a corporate card. You can read his last review of Buddakan here.

I may have made a mistake.

It seemed like a good idea.

I had a reservation at a new restaurant in Soho (the menu looked wack) on election night, but I canceled it when I saw that Keith McNally was offering “a great bottle of champagne” (Trump-coded) to every table in the restaurant if it looked like Kamala Harris might win before the night was over. Best case, I get some free bubbles (I’ve said many times that I’m a sucker for free bubbles). Worst case, it seemed like as good a place as any to watch the world burn. And in case the world was going to burn, I’d carry a brick in my bag, and a list of things at Alo that I’d love to loot if given the opportunity. I booked a table for 10pm. I figured the later, the better. It was going to be a long night.

When I was a kid I had a friend who was at Disney World on 9/11, she was waiting in line for a ride when the planes hit. She was staying at a hotel in the park, and she was stuck there, so she got to miss an entire week of school. To this day, when I think about that, I feel sick with jealousy. This might be the closest I’ll ever come.

“More than a few martinis were downed in one gulp, multiple people were coming out of single bathroom stalls. The rails were off.”

Balthazar is the closest thing we have to Disney World in New York City. Weirdly, I’ve only been to Balthazar once (I’ve been to Paris Disney and Tokyo Disney Sea as an adult). I like to avoid it for whatever reason. For so long, it was an annoying point of pride for me that I’d never been, but I caved and went for a friend’s birthday a year ago. I’ve said it before, I am not a Bistro Boy - I enjoy a burger and a martini as much as the next guy, but I’m not inspired by them. I also resent the fact that everyone just accepts a fake Parisian bistro — that opened in 1997 — as the quintessential New York restaurant. Come on guys, we can do better.

All of that aside, it’s a good restaurant, the food is consistent; the service is great; the lighting is s-tier, and the martinis are cold. I am just a hater. It’s a nice place in that it feels like anything can happen, yet nothing will ever change, a bit like election night (or maybe it’s the opposite).