Resist slowing down!

+ NYC's obsession with France, lab-grown meat, etc.

Good morning

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It looks like you all liked Feed Me 🍸🌚🌙 After Dark. Noted. Re: Palm Heights, I got a slurry of texts from people either confirming (from experience) my prediction or denying (from experience) my prediction. I will wait for a note from Palm Heights, or we can all keep it a m y s t e r y.

I want to reply to two comments I got on Chill with the home decor.

This one's a banger and it raises a question that perhaps you'd like to field in your next Q+A sesh, but I'm wondering at how this is part of a trend toward 'slowness' that I've noticed zeitgeisty newsletters talk more about lately. It's typically framed as a conscious rejection of cultural excess, surplus and shoddy goods; what I'm wondering is whether you think that's truly the case. I'm wondering: is this merely a cost-of-living cope? How do we parse the fact that household goods are undeniably becoming a bit shittier with the notion that we all spend more time at home now (work, play, mental breakdown)? What is one to do when they want a 'vibes' home that they can 'gram, but can't afford to do so ethically? Hoping this makes sense and not expecting some clear-cut answer to this; just wanting to hear your thinking on this!

Thank you for saying it was a banger. I have seen the trend toward slowness covered extensively, and I’ve heard countless friends say “I need to slow downnn” over coffee on Sunday mornings, but I hope people are doing so. I do have to push on one part of your question. Is “when they want a 'vibes' home that they can 'gram, but can't afford to do so ethically” slowing down? Like… isn’t part of the slowing down argument, moving away from performance? Tapping our, logging off, leaving? My that’s just my own association/what I fantasize about my own life.

I don’t think I’ve heard the term cultural excess. I’m guessing it associates with consuming less media? Dopamine fasting is something I’ve been reading about, and this might make you think of Joe Rogan or some scary far right wellness bros, but I’ve been reading about it nonetheless (read into my paranoia however you want to). I was with a new friend yesterday — a newsletter reader — who was asking me how I reckon with my social media usage, and I said I don’t really think about it like that. Whether it’s good or bad for me to spend 12 hours a day on my phone, it’s enabled me to build a life I’m proud of and curious about every day. I can write this letter, I can connect with strangers and turn it into friendships, I get hired to be an expert. So maybe it’s bad for you, but it’s working for me… you know?

My short answer in regards to building a home consciousness. You can make a home with “vibes” ethically without blowing cash. Half of my furniture if from Big Reuse in Gowanus. I spend time making my own home decor. I just bought a beautiful rug on Etsy from this guy in Turkey for half the price it would’ve been on Amazon, and probably 1/5 of the price it would’ve been somewhere else. Building a good life that supports you isn’t supposed to be easy, or else everyone would do it. But it’s worth it! My recommendation is to slow down on the things you feel you may need to, and go as fast as you fucking want on the other stuff. And stop buying shitty furniture.

Really loved this. It's wild to me as well that wanting/buying a lifestyle is becoming more and more of a "thing" these days. I feel like I'm seeing the 'clean girl' / 'it girl' / 'that girl' whatever trend all over TikTok/Instagram and it feels like the epitome of 'buying/selling a lifestyle'-that if you buy the fridge organizers, the coordinated activewear, the all-neutral monochromatic travel case of mini products no one needs for a 20 minute trip to the grocery store, the special ice trays, and the Stanley tumblers, that you too will magically have your shit together! It's so heavily product-driven, increasingly cheap, and easy to have the products on your doorstep from Amazon by the next day and wildly popular–#thatgirl has 9.1B views on TikTok from when I'm writing this. Would love to hear your thoughts on this whole trend & more on how social media is contributing this chasing of a lifestyle through products.

Thank you! I know exactly what kind of girl you’re talking about and I’m sure they’re all wonderful and brilliant and nice, but they sure use a lot of plastic in every step of their day and I don’t relate to them at all. There have been so many chapters of my life (college dorms, my first apartment with 4 friends in Stuy Town, dating my boyfriends and meeting their families) where I feel this icy nostalgia for how I wish I was more put together. I think I’m finally at a point in my life where I say “I’m a mess” and the people around me say “It’s okay” instead of “No you’re not.” And it is ok.

There’s no way in hell I’m going to start carrying around a Stanley tumbler. My hands would get too cold or I’d lose it. If my life was monochromatic with grays and whites, it would have coffee and hair dye stains all over it. I don’t see what you’re describing as a lifestyle, as much as a lack of one. I like verticality — deep stories, deep beliefs, risks. When you strip all of that away, what you have is the lifestyle you’re describing above. I wrote a story for the May issue of Elle last year about homogeneity, it expands a bit on this idea.