The formula for a Republican blowout.
The kind of hair you can say ‘Bless your heart’ to.
I came to DC yesterday to do some Inauguration reporting. When I got off the train at Union Station, it was snowing outside which made all of the red hats look particularly dramatic. During my 30-minute wait for a taxi, the sky was morphing from a strange scarlet sunset-color that happens sometimes during afternoon snowfalls, to a dark cloudy blue, to a clearish night.
Last night, I got a martini with these funny accoutrements at The Riggs Hotel bar, and then went upstairs to
’s party (sponsored by X and Uber).
Inside the party, I saw:
Jean Georges excitedly shaking hands of guests and photographing the room.
Jillian Michaels, who I hadn’t thought about since my dorm room workouts in 2015. She was kind of holding court in a corner and had some fans there, I guess she’s part of the whole MAHA thing.
Sweetgreen co-founder Nic Jammet, in the hometown of his salad empire. He was wearing a cool Bode (I think) jacket.
Semafor columnist and Friend of the Letter, Max Tani. I’m guessing I’ll see him at least two more times this week.
A performance by Dierks Bentley. I thought their hit (and one of my favorite songs) Drunk on a Plane would get the crowd going the most, but it was actually a cover of Take Me Home, Country Roads that got a group of blonde women on stage. In the clip below, you’ll hear someone yell, “MAGA MAMA” instead of “Mountain mama.” You can also see X CEO Linda Yaccarino singing along.
A lot of incredible tans going on, I don’t know if it was beds or spray tans or recent trips to St. Barts — would appreciate some intel here.
Conor McGregor, not sure why.
Peter Thiel, who I wanted to give a Feed Me keychain to but didn’t get the chance.
A lot of women with shredded arms holding cucumber martinis and quilted Chanel bags.
- spent most of the party poaching members of DC political media for Substack.
A bunch of people with only-night-out-all-year energy lined up early to get in, but a wave of DC’s hot and rich started rolling through around 11pm, after the Dierks set.
The party started with hardcore Bari stans and people carefully ordering drinks, and by the end of the night, most people’s hands were holding empty olive-filled martinis and salty margaritas. I appreciated the glass Diet Coke bottles.
It didn’t feel like a New York media party! Fewer cigarettes, more drinking, more tuxedos, more blondes, more men than women (“It was so much better than the rancid Passage Press Ball that I came from where there were max, two women at every table, that I barely noticed,” one friend texted me this morning), fewer phones out, more people asking if strangers could take photos of them, more big white smiles. David Lynch’s ghost might’ve been watching from heaven. I wonder who will make the first surrealist film about this new administration.
Later in the night, more power brokers rolled in. It was clear texts were being sent that it was a good party.
I’m struggling a little bit with this letter — I’ve spent this morning thinking about this new world (Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Cook went to church with Trump this morning…) and a group of media organizations, CEOs, and individual grifters who want to align themselves with the new administration to maintain access. They all made the pilgrimage to DC to kiss the ring. I mean, think about what that room was celebrating. The whole time I was writing this, I was getting ominous news alerts about Trump’s “day one plans”: mass arrests of undocumented immigrants, ending birthright citizenship (probably unconstitutional), and more. Like anything with Trump, who knows what’s a real plan, a trial balloon, or an outright lie, but it’s still a time of uncertainty and fear.
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Yesterday on the train to DC, I spent the last hour of the journey watching women in black MAGA hats down bottles of Sauvignon blanc at 3:30pm. As I scrolled through Instagram, I noticed that , an anonymous writer from DC, posted a photo of her “Republican hair.” This style has always existed — it’s long, it’s bouncy, it’s big, and it’s keeping Dyson’s sales up.
I had a quick conversation with about the look her hair stylist has been perfecting all weekend.
What is Republican Hair vs. non-Republican Hair? Do other parties have a hair aesthetic?
Republican hair is big and bouncy and usually platinum blonde (but I’m not willing to commit that much). Think mid-2000s Victoria’s Secret bombshell. I think if I had been going for a Democrat-style blowout, I would have gone the opposite route and asked for something sleek, understated and shiny.
When I told him I wanted Republican hair he said “Oh, the kind of hair you can say ‘bless your heart’ to,” and got to work.
